Suffocating in Silence

What do I call this absence?
This emptiness within me,
Stripping every skin, every flesh,
Till it reveals my bones.
My vein bare and linking,
Dripping with blood that was known to be my source.
My mother said I’m stressed,
Overreacting to this absence,
This grief of a loved one I grip,
Making me go crazy and dazed.
God, guide me,
Guide me, let no confusion convince me.
Let rainfall wash away my pains,
My inability to think straight.
Let no fragrance of depression
Hold me tight, for I am not ready.
I am not ready to absorb silence.
For this pain in my heart is suffocating,
And the only thing I know now is suffering.