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April 22, 2024


By Alexandra Queen

Unless you've been living in a cave, you've probably noticed that football season has begun. In fact, the wives of most cave dwellers are probably still aware, since even cave-dwelling men tend to migrate in search of newspapers and/or sports bars this time of year.

Well, migrate no further. So long as your cave has internet or is near a salt lick with a wi-fi hotspot, you or your cave-dwelling spouse/roomie/parasite can get all the football news you need.


Deceptively simple, huh? www.NFL.com. Seems like a no-brainer. But it's an indispensable, one-stop spot for the latest in news around the league, scores, schedules and -- get this -- did you realize you can listen to any game you want, live?

Hey, haters -- being trapped in front of a television all weekend long watching game after game can be annoying if you don't like football, but what about the old time charm of the family sitting around the radio, listening to a game as they work on some small craft? Cracking walnuts, sewing, building models, doing a jigsaw puzzle, transplanting organs, your imagination and state laws are the limit to what you can do listening to live game on NFL.com.

The NFL All-Criminal Team

Funny enough to appeal to football lovahs and hatahs alike, this is website Phat Phree's answer to league All-Star Teams. Think people are too accepting of professional athletes who flaunt the law? More and more notice (and biting sarcasm) is being directed toward guys who should have it all and choose to blow it all. Jump on the bandwagon with this wicked little satire.

The NFL Cheerleader Draft

Guys don't really understand why football lovin' girlies like myself like to see Tampa Bay coach Jon Gruden lose a ball game (that's it Jon, snarl a little more... okay, shout at your defensive coordinator... oh, yeah, loose your temper, baby...), but I don't really get the whole cheerleader thing. That's okay. The guys at Phat Phree do.

Jon Gruden

Uh, while we're on the topic, here's one for the ladies. (And you guys who are so busy watching those tight ends move down the field that you have no idea what the score is. You know who you are.)

Yahoo! Fantasy Football

Okay. Enough about Gruden. Back to football. Fantasy football has nothing to do with what goes on in my head when I'm watching Gruden lose a game. It's a complex little game where you select players from around the league in your own hypothetical team, which accrues points depending on how well the real players perform. There's no better way to enjoy the real football season than to play along with a fantasy league. I'm in a private league, but I still have a neglected throw-away team in a public league here at Yahoo!'s fantasy football center because of their excellent tools.

Fantasy Football Analyzer

Speaking of excellent fantasy football tools, load up your roster into this handy little device and then impress your buddies with how much you "know". That way you can spend more time surfing the net for pictures of Jon Gruden shouting at people.

William Shatner

And as a bonus, non-football-related topic, possibly the only thing more entertaining than football is William Shatner. This page has several priceless, must-see Shatner short films, including Bill parodying himself and the film 7, classy "dancing Shatners" animations, and a music video to Bill Shatner's cover of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" that is responsible for making me laugh so hard that I crapped things I haven't even eaten yet.

Good surfin' to you!

Article © Alexandra Queen. All rights reserved.
Published on 2005-09-12
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