The New Years Resolution is the bane of my life. Every year at this time I firmly resolve to do something that is good for me. I enter into the new year optimistic -- a brand new year, a brand new start.
In the past, my resolutions have been as diverse as losing weight (a perennial favorite), get more exercise, spend more quality time with my family, eat healthier (another favorite) and work more around the house. When I make these promises to myself, I do so with the best intentions in the world. This is the year, I promise myself, that I'm really going to __insert resolution here__. Ah, but we know what is said about good intentions.
It never fails that after a couple of weeks (sometimes much less) I gradually fall back into my old patterns of behavior. It's too much trouble to get up early to exercise, the doughnuts in the grocery store are especially fragrant, I want to listen to the ball-game rather than spend a couple of hours caulking the bath-tub. Of course, I eventually wind up not running, eating the doughnuts and hiring someone to caulk the tub while I listen to the game.
My wife tried to motivate me, but to no avail.
"Basil, are you going running this morning?"
I rolled over on the couch, sighed deeply and assumed an exhausted, weary look. "No, I'm too tired to go today." I settled back blissfully, arranging the pillows behind my head for maximum comfort. "I'll make up for it tomorrow and double my running mileage."
Ann nodded soberly at me. "Yeah. Sure you will."
Later she walked into the kitchen to find me devouring a pecan pie, which, as we all know, has more calories per ounce than any food on the planet. "Basil, you know you're not supposed to eat that."
I was surprised, startled at being caught, then I assumed an air of truculent hurt. "Everybody else gets to eat pie. I should get a slice too." I wiped my face and looked guiltily at the crumbled remains of the pie. "I only had one slice." I moved slightly to the side, trying to hide the pie pan from her.
Ann picked up the nearly empty pie pan and looked at the crumbs. "Your slice was half a pie. You'll never lose any weight this way."
I slinked from the kitchen, firmly resolving next time to do my secretive eating while she's sleeping, or out shopping.
This year things are different. I've firmly resolved to make no resolutions this year. That way, I don't have to feel guilty in a few days when the resolution falls by the wayside, as they have for the last 30 plus years. In fact, I firmly resolve to make no more New Years resolutions ever. I do not resolve to lose weight, eat healthier, save more, read more, get more exercise or get a tan. Two months into the new year, and I'm doing very well -- in fact, better than ever. Finally, a New Years resolution I can stick with.