If

When you return
I want to tell you
I have lived
since you left.
I want to tell you
of courses taken,
people met,
books read,
movies seen.

I want you to know
that I have lived,
I didn't collapse
upon myself,
or drink myself
to death.

I want you
to know that.
Before your return,
know it now,
so you might know
that I have changed
as I have lived,
that I am not the same
as before,
I'm almost completely different.

So different
you might even
love me again,

as you once did.

I shall write you
a letter, this
letter, just so
you know,
and when you come back
I will tell you
everything else,

everything,

when you come back,

when?