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November 21, 2022
"Mes de los Muertos"

The Life I Want

By Xi Nan (Nancy)

The Life I Want

It doesn't matter so much where we live
At least not the most important
But if I could choose
I hope it would be in a small house
Like those small houses in southern Europe
Clean and bright, solid and snow-white exterior walls

There is a sea under our window
When pushing open the French windows
The sea is coming into our faces
Every night you slide the windows
To the left and to the right, just a little would be enough
The sound of the waves rushes far and near, murmuring-murmuring
I listen to the tides and lying in your arms
--- Sleep
That would be the most extraordinary hypnosis

If there is no sea, a wide river is also good
(A lake, would not be good
An imaginary lake lacks lively breaths)
The river is transparent, the surface is clear green
In sunny moments
The river flashes like scattered emeralds all over the riverbed
The people who punt boats on the river are important
Men are fit, have tanned skins
Women wear English plaid peaked caps with clean necks
They swiftly use a pole to punt the boat
Sometimes shout aloud but not harsh
Singing and happily laughing

Along our river or the sea
There is a short row of local-run stores
Good quality and inexpensive goods for living, cafes
Outdoor terraces, and others
The owners of the stores are real craftsmen
They enjoy every detail in creation
And (at least plan to) pass it down to next generations

If I summarize the life I like
Its keywords probably be:
Ordinary, civilized, long-lasting enthusiasm
Clean and refreshing worldliness
We are self-sufficient, possess water-like dignity

But, it doesn't really matter where we live
At least not the most important
So, what is most important?
I think
Are the things that are more difficult to capture and name

It is -- you will open the curtains completely, in a sunny and clear morning
You will lie on the mattress by the window and take a nap, clouding you is the fuzz-like golden sunshine
It is -- you will notice in a dark night, a big bird flying in the sky
And happily pointing to it, say: Xi, quickly look!
It is -- you who will also caress my body of existence, including that left leg --
The left crus that remains a large area of car trauma
You will be silent and serious, with a solemn but childlike gaze

Yes, the important thing is gaze --
You will look at me, the eyes contain little flames of touching happiness
And (almost) the whole truth about life
And me
Have not been looked in such way for half of my life time






Article © Xi Nan (Nancy). All rights reserved.
Published on 2020-09-07
Image(s) are public domain.
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