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April 15, 2024

Know Your Writing Markets 09

By Kellie Gillespie

In my magazine and journal research, I have come across a few oddball markets that don't really fit into any theme or subject. Since I never can tell where people will find inspiration, or a place to dump that 3,000 word article about the joys of mango chutney, I include some here, for your continued edification and education.

Dirty Mushroom Review

14 E. Fungusamungus Blvd.
Mudlick, KY
Contact: Fred Crimini, Associate Editor

This bimonthly magazine is 50% freelance written and has a circulation of 3,000. Intended for an audience that likes vegetables in their natural state, they are looking for articles and recipes that feature unwashed mushrooms, legumes, and root vegetables. Nonfiction needs are personal essays featuring unwashed food experiences, opinion pieces, historical/nostalgic about the great days of unprocessed food, and how-to's. They are also interested in home remedies to treat parasites, infections and other illnesses of the intestinal system. Length is variable; query is recommended. Current fiction needs are for short stories and poems about potatoes, carrots and peanuts, washed or unwashed, as long as they feature natural situations or locales. Pay is negotiable.

Tip: New writers have a good chance breaking into our market with how-to's and recipes. Our readers are always looking for new ways to use unwashed vegetables.

Oedipus Complex

214 Mammary Way
Intercourse, PA
Contact: Rex King, Editor

This weekly magazine was started in 1986 and has a 2,000 circulation. It is 100% freelance written by men only. The audience is men who have difficult relationships with their mothers, including, but not limited to, men who blame their mothers for everything that ever went wrong in their lives and men who just plain hate their mothers. The majority of readers are in therapy, have dysfunctional relationships with women, or are incarcerated. Nonfiction needs are essays, how-to, personal experiences and essays. Columns are: "Crying Times" (disagreements between mothers and sons); "You're Just Like My Mother" (relationship problems with significant others); and "Twelve Angry Men" (personal anger management accounts). Fiction needs are for fantasy, science fiction and humor. Please, no realism. Poetry: only light verse and rhyming poems.

Tip: "Our readers are well-adjusted, intelligent, working professionals who just happen to hate their mothers. New writers must understand this, and write accordingly. Snap judgments and dismissive jargon will not find a place in our magazine."

American Headless Barbie® Doll

7345 N. Cannotsea Rd.
Smileyburg, KS
Contact: Susie Sadisto, Associate Editor

The monthly magazine is 100% freelance written and has a circulation of 75,000. International in scope, it is intended for the upscale, urban professional who collects headless Barbie® dolls. They are highly skilled in technology, E-bay savvy, and knowledgeable about the headless doll market. Nonfiction needs are for essays, historical/nostalgic, and technical articles. Pay and length is negotiable. Photos can be submitted with articles, model release required. Graphic scenes involving nude Barbies® and Ken® dolls will not be accepted. Fiction is accepted, but must feature headless dolls in some way. No humor, please.

Tip: Readers are very attached to their headless doll collections and are interested in all aspects of Barbie® dolls. "We especially like to see articles that detail the entire head-detaching experience."

Backflip News

1111 Jumping Jack Draw
Hasty, CO
Contact: Jim Nastics, Editor

This magazine is 100% freelance written and irregularly published. It jumps around from a weekly to a monthly to a bimonthly, depending on the mood of the editors. Devoted to back flip aficionados, it caters to an alternative lifestyle that features unique ways of eating, walking, working and relationships. "Our readers are creative, athletic, and unique in that they approach all daily activities with flair and style." Nonfiction needs are for how-to's, technical, interview/profile and personal experience. They are especially interested in articles that instruct new back flippers in fulfilling basic needs while flipping; sexual positions are always popular. Fiction is also accepted, as long as it is short and to the point.

Tip: "Articles must be succinct and exact; our readers don't have the attention span or the capability to read long articles without experiencing motion sickness. Be sure you understand the problems and joys of back flipping before writing for our magazine. We can spot a faker a mile away."

Barbie®, Ken® and associated trademarks are owned by Mattel, Inc. ©2001 Mattel, Inc. All Rights reserved. Also, this entire article was an April Fool's joke, just in case you weren't sure.

Article © Kellie Gillespie. All rights reserved.
Published on 2005-04-03
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