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May 13, 2024

Woman Can Translate Bird Languages

By Sand Pilarski

One spring day I went for a walk
And found I understood sparrow-talk.
I watched the chattering striped birds,
Stopped, listened, but their profane words

Shocked me to my innermost core.

"Go take a bath, you dirty hen,"
A fat sparrow shouted shrilly, then
He attacked the dusty one with claws
Outstretched and with his broad-beaked jaws

Pinched the dark faded fluff she wore.

"Oh, vile cheater, you send me off
The better your mistresses to boff!
I know of your bowing, chirping way!
That's why your spouses never stay!"

She shrieked and took off for the park.

And all the lady-sparrows fled
With her. But the lusty sparrow said,
"Oh, they'll be back soon. They can't resist
My plumage, if you get my gist."

He waited there 'til after dark.

And so did I, upon a wall,
Sitting there, watching him take his fall.
Eating beer-soaked bread crumbs, strutting fat
He bragged of conquest, 'til a cat

Sprang from the bushes. He was done.

From trees the sparrows softly said
"The ladies will come back since he's dead."
"He was a dirtbag," said another.
"Said his wife and said his mother."

Then silence reigned 'til morning sun.

Drawn into Nature's drama scene
I wouldn't want to seem really mean
But listening to that sparrow's rot
I think he deserved just what he got.

Article © Sand Pilarski. All rights reserved.
Published on 2006-03-27
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