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May 27, 2024

Home School

By Wayne Faust


by Jacob Willoughby

Miss Cleary asked me to write this about myself so I am. :)

WHO'S COOLER THAN ME?? Okay Miss Cleary I'll stop goofing. And YES I KNOW capital letters are bad.

I'm 9 years old and I'm in 4th grade. My Mom is my teacher for most of my subjects except Creative Writing. Miss Cleary teaches us that. She lives next door so she comes over on Monday Wednesday and Friday. She's the one who's making me write this. And she said I have to write 5 PAGES!!

These are the subjects I like:

  • Creative Writing
  • Physics
  • Recess :)

These are the subjects I don't like:

  • Calculus
  • Philosophy
  • Shakespeare

It's kinda weird writing about myself.

Mom calls me her "Little Genius." I get embarrassed when she does that because she always pats me on the head like I was a 1st grader. She says I'm miles ahead of where she was when she was 9. But she was a 9 a long time ago so that's not saying much. I wish I knew for sure if I'm really smart. How smart are the other kids on the block? Sometimes I see them playing in the park but Mom keeps us away from the other kids unless they're home-schooled.

Esther is my little sister. She's in 2nd grade and hasn't even gotten past basic Algebra yet. Was I that DUMB when I was 7?

I like to watch hockey on TV. This winter Dad says he'll make me an ice rink in the back yard and get me some skates. That will be COOL! Maybe some of the other home-schoolers can come over and we can have a game. But there probably won't be enough for a whole team. If we got some public-schoolers we could have a whole league but we can't do that. Public-schoolers are off limits. THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE ON ANOTHER PLANET says Mom about a million gazillion times a day.

I like pizza. Hamburgers are good too. Dad grinds the meat from the cows on Grandma and Grandpa's farm. I don't like anything green -- lettuce broccoli green beans asparagus ESPECIALLY ASPARAGUS!! Mom and Dad make me eat it. BUT THEN THEY GIVE ME ICE CREAM!

When I grow up I want to be a race car driver. I've been studying cold fusion in physics with Mr. Kerr. He's Caleb's Dad. Caleb is a home-schooler too. They live across town and come to our house once a week. Mr. Kerr teaches me and Caleb physics in the morning and then since it's Friday we get to do what we want in the afternoon! I play Knight's Tale in the HoloGlobe. Last Friday I got to Level 27! I even killed a DRAGON!!! I'm going to build my own race car engine next semester. And someday I'll put it in my own car and race it!!!

I know I'm not supposed to use too many exclamation marks when I do Creative Writing. Miss Cleary says that it makes me look like an amateur. She says that I have the talent to be a professional writer someday so I should learn to stop using too many exclamation marks. And capital letters! But I don't know if I want to be a professional writer unless I can be a race car driver too. Mom says I have the talent to be anything I want. So why not a RACE CAR DRIVER???

Miss Cleary says that when I do Creative Writing I shouldn't leave anything out and that I should use my feelings. She says that's what writing is for -- to get your feelings out. And I shouldn't worry that someone else will read it. She says that all the best stories are because the writer wasn't afraid of letting someone else get inside their head.

So here goes:

I'm scared.

I don't like to be scared but Mom and Dad have been arguing a lot down in the kitchen. They argue about me and Esther. They whisper but it's loud whispering so I can hear them through the heating vent in my room.

I'm never sure what they're talking about. The other night Mom said something about how she would never send us to public school because they would put both of us in remedial programs. I had to look that one up. Mom says I'm a little genius so why would I have to go to a remedial program?

But that's not the worst thing. Mom said that it would be over her dead body before she let somebody put something inside her kids' heads. Why would somebody want to do that?? It almost makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it.

And then Dad said that if they don't do it we'll be way behind for the rest of our lives. Mom said we'd manage okay just like people did for thousands of years until now. She said it wasn't natural. She kept on saying that. It's not NATURAL. And whenever she said that Dad just made grunting noises and shut up. Once he got so mad that I heard him hit the kitchen table.

Last week was Halloween. I LOVE HALLOWEEN! My favorite candy is Kit Kat bars. Mom lets me and Esther eat all the candy we want. We don't usually get to eat candy so Halloween is SO AWESOME!!! We trick or treat at all the other home-schooler houses in the neighborhood and they all give us candy bars. This year I dressed up like a knight and got 7 KIT KAT BARS!!! I got a stomach ache and threw up when we got home but it was worth it.

After I threw up I felt better. Mom went upstairs to take a bath and Dad went into his office to get some work done. The doorbell rang and I answered it. It was two public-schoolers trick or treating. One was Jack Sparrow and the other was Spiderman. I'm supposed to just close the door if any public-schoolers come around but I gave them some candy anyhow. Was I supposed to just slam the door on their face? When I was putting the candy in their bags one of them asked me my name only his mouth wasn't moving. That felt really weird and made me scared. How could he talk without moving his mouth? It was like he was inside my head. Then they looked at each other and I could tell they were talking because of the way they were nodding their heads. But their mouths weren't moving and I couldn't hear anything. Then I heard another voice inside my head. It asked me if I was a home-schooler. I was so scared I couldn't answer. How DO you answer a voice inside your head?

Both of them laughed and walked away down the porch steps. Before I closed the door I heard their voices some more. It sounded like echoes from far away but I heard a few words. They weren't nice words and I know they were talking about me. But how could they be talking about me when they weren't moving their mouths? I think it must have something to do with what Mom was talking about. Did somebody put something inside their heads to make them be able to do that? That made me REALLY scared. Last week Esther split her knee open on a piece of glass in the back yard. I could see her knee bone and I almost puked. What would it be like if somebody opened up your head? It made my head hurt just thinking about it. And I think Dad wants them to do that to me.

Then Dad came downstairs and asked who was at the door. I told him it was more home-schoolers trick or treating. He said I looked white as a ghost. I said I was feeling sick again and that I wanted to go to bed. He tucked me in and told me a Hobbit story. It made me feel a little better but I still couldn't go to sleep very good.

Next week is my birthday and I will be 10! Dad is taking me to the hockey game. Mom looked really worried when he said we were going. Dad told her it would be okay. There will be lots of public-schoolers there I think. I hope I don't hear voices in my head again. But that's okay because after the game he's going to take me for ICE CREAM!!

THE END!!!!!

Article © Wayne Faust. All rights reserved.
Published on 2011-03-14
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