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July 08, 2024

Save My Soul: An Existential Crisis

By Pranab Ghosh

Save My Soul: An Existential Crisis

The bloodhounds. The milky way. The white car. The sound of wind, of waves breaking on the shores, where time stood still, trying to crawl on the sand, the beach they say, where you and ... I was certainly there with you... was I not...? Time crawling on the sand, leaving footprints that could not be seen. You stood by the waves, while I tried to follow the footsteps that I failed to see. But still I went on tracking, following, walking ..., but you stood still by the waves ... I kept on tracking ... time, memories, laughter, dream, sobs, tears ... and then I could no more follow. But I did not want to give up. I did not want to succumb.

But I wanted to go back to you, stand by the waves, count the sound of the waves breaking on to the shore ... But I decided to quiz time itself ... I wanted to chase it out of our existence ... I wanted to come back to you and ride the time, the wave, the life.

Then suddenly they appeared. Hand clutching hands, hands holding life-saving jackets. They said they have come to rescue me. They said I should not have chased time, instead I should have counted the waves. Then they turned around and asked, "Do you want to go back?" I tumbled within my soul, but did not reply. I shagged within my soul, but did not reply. I laughed within my soul, but did not reply. I cried within my soul, but did not reply. Then they moved closer towards me. I could see the net in their hand. They said they will help me find the mermaid. But I said I am far away from the sea. But, they did not listen. They said they will take me to where I needed to go. They said they will help me meet my times. Then I asked what about the mermaid they wanted me to take to. They laughed, they laughed even louder, they laughed and laughed ... and I could take no more ... My brain began to throb.

The sound of the laughter drowned the sound of your voice coming from a great distance ... MY HEAD BEGAN TO SPIN AND I STARTED TO RUN. The sound of their laughter grew with the speed of the wind that I was piercing through as I ran. The sound, the waves, the wind trying to burst my windpipes ... their laughter trailing me ... hounding my very existence ... hounding me out of my times, my memories, my companion, my direction and my desire. I could still see you standing by the waves. Then I looked back ... and there was nothing ... not you ... not the sea ... not the waves ... not the winds ... not the laughter that hounded me out of my existence, my times ... hounded me away from you ... from the mermaids. From everything that I tried to run away from ... Did I not want to run away?

Please send someone to take me home. Please ... Please ... Please ... Save My Soul. Please ... PLEASE ... please ...

Article © Pranab Ghosh. All rights reserved.
Published on 2019-03-18
Image(s) are public domain.
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