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May 27, 2024

Words from the Elders

By Frederick Foote

I was searching for words of wisdom to pass on to my adult children. I gathered thoughts from some of the older generations that are well-known and greatly respected in our communities. I then searched among family, friends, and local publications for examples to illustrate their opinions. This is what I found:

If you judge the worth of a person by the color of their skin or the texture of their hair, or the shapes on their face, so you will be judged.

Della Modesto (Age 78)

Three black niggers have been messin' with me for weeks. Callin' me yellow piss-faced boy, halfway half-white nigger, jaundice juice, yellow belly cocksucker and such. But I fixed 'em. I caught the leader alone in the alley behind the chicken shack. Took a tire iron to the back of his kinky head. Used my razor on his pretty black face. Used my boots to stave in his rib cage.

Took my pa's old .38 and just showed it to them other two. And that's that. Them black boys give me plenty of space. And I will shoot me a blackie in a minute. I know they would do the same to me.

Ain't a Goddamn thing beautiful about black.

So, my brown skin wife goes and gives us a fuckin' black baby!

I don't know whether to shit or go blind.

I know that black bastard can't be mine.

Oh, Jesus, please help me. I have fucked this all up so bad. Help me, please.

In the best of us, there is the worst of us lying in wait.

William Marvel Deshchutes (Age 93)

James was the hero. He rescued three from the wreck at considerable danger to himself and kept them alive until the ambulance got there.

The search for the fourth victim found her in James' bed. His penis had penetrated her dead body in many places many times over.

Love is blind to defects and a reflection of needs.

Helen Moss-Brown (Age 67)

She had those big legs, African ass, and attitude to spare. And I could not complain about her face and hair. Plus, she was in The Movement with a leader's voice loud and clear.

She was not stingy with her affections or limited in her expressions.

How could I lose? We did the ring thing and the kid thing, twice.

And then, I saw clearly how mule-headed stubborn she was and arrogant to the nth degree. She and that African ass made friends all over town.

She has the nerve to tell me, "You weren't blind. I'm who I've always been. It's your poor vision, not mine."


We cannot long survive without water and the warmth of the herd.

Duncan Cooper (Age 82)

He lived alone in the city but was not lonely until the pandemic cut him off. Cut him off from contact with neighbors, friends, and fellow workers. The virus denied him accidental, casual encounters and incidental human warmth.

He ended it off a bridge into the river in the company of creatures without a social distancing policy.

Incredible beauty, skill, or intelligence is cloaked in loneliness and is a favorite disguise of evil.

Ala Yang Wee (Age 101)

My sister, Grace, has a 160 or higher IQ with an angel's face and a professional sinner's body. She stood alone, high on a hill overlooking the city, and designed the virus that plagues us still.

She has lost interest in that line of research and is on to a new conquest.

Good and evil are the most beautiful and beguiling of twins. They are equally untrustworthy.

Omar Abdul (Age 70)

His flock measured 10,000, and his church seated half that many. At the peak of the virus, his sermon held a full house enthralled and was broadcasted to thousands more. The virus swept through his congregation and their families. His single service was the most significant cause of shutting down businesses in the county.

The philanthropist donated billions to fight the spread of the virus. That was less than 3% of what he had extorted in the first place.

The good Life drowns in goods and gold.

Kieko Ishimoto (Age 69)

The homeless were an affront to him. However, he decided as a tax write off, to share his used shoes with them. It surprised him to learn that he had 38 pairs.

The most consistent products of humanity are shit and piss.

White Rock Road (Age 76)

I came home still celebrating my degrees with my award-winning models packed carefully away. My Grandfather, the one with dementia, said, "Shit and piss are the only products people can really count on day in and day out. And you can't be in touch with yourself or the world if you don't understand that, son. Do you know where your human waste is now? Do you know how it is being used or abused? If you don't, you ain't learned the basics, and you don't deserve to celebrate."

Old people say the funniest things. As if my accomplishments ain't shit.

You will be wrong more than you will be right if you define people by the things between or not between their legs.

Anik Silva (Age 80)

I didn't mind that he wore women's panties. I mean, he was the best lover I ever had. He was a fine athlete. My boys loved him. My friends envied us.

I believed we had a future together until my mother taught him to crochet. And that scheming old hag crocheted my man away.

He said her nimble fingers and her creative mind captivated him.

I want to stab their eyes out with those damn needles.

* * *

My children received these comments and examples with love, reverence, and appreciation. They have shared them with their family and friends. I hope you will do the same.

Article © Frederick Foote. All rights reserved.
Published on 2021-02-01
Image(s) are public domain.
4 Reader Comments
11:47:51 AM
Always challenging, always well crafted.
Consider it received with "love, reverence and appreciation."
02:43:26 PM
You may be an elegant writer - But you're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
04:05:49 PM
Looking at both sides is difficult enough, but writing it so that the rest of us can see them, too - is genius.
Jennifer J Pickering
10:17:54 AM
I have never read anything quite like this. Thanks for sharing.
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