Call me old-fashioned - I don't mind,
Give me clocks that tick not clack
And poems that rhyme,
I like novels with no sex-scenes
And sequential storylines,
I'm unimpressed by trains that run on time.
One day I'll buy a cottage made of stone
Without TV or telephone,
With polished wooden floors,
A fireplace that spits and cracks
And a fat contented cat,
And roses twined with barbed-wire round the door.