Piker Press — Weekly Journal of Arts and Literature
April 27, 2026

Beat a Kid Over the Head with a Hammer and they Call You a Problem Child

"...that first time I got the better of my bully..."

Beat a Kid Over the Head with a Hammer and they Call You a Problem Child

I skipped my first day of school.
Morning Kindergarten.
My mother was called home from work
and not happy.
Found me sitting on the front stoop
stirring the ants around with a plastic straw.
When my father got home, it was far worse.
So I went back to school.
They had this thing called: activity time.
I guess we were in the sandbox out front
with no one watching
and there was some disagreement.
I can hardly remember what it was over,
I was barely five.
But the teacher hated me after that.
Beat a kid over the head with a hammer
and they call you a problem child.
Like that first time I got the better of my bully
and they put me on detention for
successfully defending myself.
I guess the kid was supposed to just
beat me up forever.
Or at least until we were both of working age,
so the punch clock could wreck
us both.






Article © Ryan Quinn Flanagan. All rights reserved.
Published in the May 3, 2021 issue .
Image(s) are public domain.
More by Ryan Quinn Flanagan → More poetry → Full issue →
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