If I Had a Gun

If I had a gun
it would have nine chambers
one made of chocolate and another
of caramel.

If I had a weapon like that
I would dip it in a white cream
made of whipped butter
and powdered sugar.

If I owned a revolver
it would sing with every shot
a melody made in Heaven
every night before I dream.

If I hid an instrument of death in my bedroom
I would devour it with strawberries
and smile with every bite
at that silly lady with a scythe.

But you will find nothing of the sort
in my humble abode
unless of course you think of ice cream
as a deadly nectar.