Five decades after Ape World scientists and historians shocked Ape Nation by revealing evidence of our planet’s human past, Apes have gained access to the last human-made structure left standing; and it contains a library of books, photographs, movies and artworks!
Nearly 35,000 years after the natural catastrophe that ended human life on Earth, academics from New Ape University (NAU) are happy to report that the structure contains the only known record of human life, giving us access to clues about how humans lived and how they manifested their own destruction.
The story of their existence is sad and tragic. They destroyed paradise on orders from their kings. They proved incapable of caring for the Earth that made them, or for each other.
After the lack of political foresight demolished their social systems and launched them into needless wars and natural catastrophes, the planet struck back; her icecaps melted, and her oceans rose to untold levels, prepping the surface for a strong poisonous wind that would blow furiously in all directions.
Today, clerics of all denominations agree that Mother Earth cried in pain, realizing that she wanted nothing else to do with her evil children. Maybe it was her mistake. She’d have to start over.
This is what we know so far.
BRIEF HISTORY OF HUMANITY
Humans crawled out of their caves and established cities, empires, religions, political systems and sports. Then, over a short period of about 6,500 years, they created science, art, music, literature and frozen burritos. They made buildings that reached high into the sky, and metal bridges that crossed great bodies of water. But they never found it in themselves to truly care for each other. Or their planet. Somebody had to get rich for innovation to occur.
Some Apes assert that humanity’s driving force was war and destruction. A flawed species from the beginning, although some humans could clearly see beyond their own self interests.
However, after numerous cultures and civilizations, wars and empires, humanity’s flaws became harmful to the planet. The abuse of natural resources and the inability to embrace organic technologies such as wind power or sunlight. The persistence of fossil fuels and plastics. The insistence on racism. The increasing number of humans fighting over decreasing resources.
The last stage of human destruction can be dated to the 2nd decade of the 21st century, at which time there were over 8 billion humans. Most of them were poor with no resources. And very few of them were wealthy beyond reason. Within a moment’s notice, the rich took control of the political system and there was nothing the poor could do. Misery and cruelty were rampant and widely ignored by those that could have stopped it.
A humane humanity became an impossibility.
Theologians explain that Mother Earth, herself, came to look on humanity as an infestation demanding a harsh cure. Some even suggest that she had an emotional reaction to recognizing the evil nature of humanity, for which she felt responsible and could find no cure.
For the first time ever, she had nightmares. And they began to vibrate outwardly. Mankind was doomed to the curse of the flying skull.
The end began with a super volcanic eruption in what they used to call Yellowstone National Park, which covered the continent in volcanic ash. Similar explosions in Iceland and Venezuela combined for a geological event that spread over most of the world.
Sometime later, oceans rose rapidly, stimulated by destructive earthquakes, with waters warming to temperatures incapable of sustaining life, and pockets of acid lava emerging in the most unexpected locations and for no reason… (later identified by Humans as “negative energy from the core”) changing slowly what we once called ocean water into something too thick and dense to be liquid, but not thick and dense enough to be solid.
Smart Apes today believe that ocean life was the first to go. Although some disagree. The idea from Dr. Kai, that deep pockets of the ocean were somehow “sealed off” and into which a variety of sea life could take temporary refuge for about 20,000 years, seems outrageous to some and only totally crazy to others.
Electromagnetic storms destroyed satellites and digital prints. Man’s technological might ground to a halt, and their own monstrous creation turned against them. Three billion died in the first two years.
Most of the globe became covered in acidic water, which consumed cities, mortar, steel and all types of metal, as well as flesh and bones. The resulting poisonous gases were deadly for the few remaining humans, who now hid in caves and rubble from the giant carnivorous birds that hunted them.
It was around this time that The Hundred Year Storm began across the planet. Some apes are not in full agreement on the details. Some claim it lasted close to 500 years.
Could mankind have avoided this outcome? Was there a point at which they could have reversed their fate? These and many more questions have challenged Ape World historians since the discovery of humanity’s presence on our planet.
Historians hypothesize that at the height of human civilization, the average human was more interested in comfort, wealth and consumption than in the health of their planet. It’s not difficult for today’s academicians to guess why.
“While the average IQ for an ape today is 160,” says Professor Kay, “the average IQ for man at the height of human civilization was 100, so how much could we have expected from such limited and greedy creatures?”
Professor Kay claims that mankind did not learn from their mistakes, and followed insane leaders that enriched themselves, lied through their teeth and destroyed the most valued human institutions.
As humanity exploited the planet’s resources, they did not properly filter the harmful wastes spewing from its operations. They reproduced without the ability to care for their children, and they refused to change when change was necessary… or to grow when growth was needed.
Apes have a saying that makes the little ones laugh out loud; “Stupid as a bunny’s not funny.”
The Library
Hopefully, some answers to the puzzle of Man’s inherent stupidity may be found in Humanity’s Last Library.
Due to the arrogant human carelessness towards nature throughout their brief and violent history, books and other media cannot be removed from the structure, as they immediately disintegrate upon contact with fresh air. Those that are granted access to the library must complete a vigorous training program (described below) designed to help improve the survivability of the ancient materials.
[Aside from the intense library user training, Apes must be fluent in English and a second language, like Español, Francé or Italiano.
Applicants must additionally pass a test on human history that covers significant timelines, empires, evil leaders, movies and the Los Angeles Dodgers. This is believed to provide the proper context for exploring the vast library. Some experts disagree.]
We still can’t explain why this is the only structure known to have survived the planet’s anti-viral response to humanity and the passing of time.
Historians have dated the library to shortly after the 2020 US Presidential Election, which signaled the beginning of the end. At that time, a group known as Friends of The San Francisco Public Library, took it upon themselves to safeguard as many books, photographs, movies, plays and music as possible inside the giant secret facility. The building itself must have been created in secret, as we found no records of its construction.
Today, Apes throughout the world are grateful for their effort.
Eventually Mother Earth would learn to nurture herself, to cleanse herself and reinvent herself. This was the transition period. The now between before and after, which was painful and cathartic. She wanted nothing to do with mankind, their art and music, their buildings and horrendous habitats.
This cleansing period redefined what life on the planet would be like in the future.
The so-called floating islands, which are believed to have existed for thousands of years, showcased the planet’s new evolutionary ecosystem… filled with boiling-negative-energy from the Earth’s core. The islands float as high as 0.5 kilometers above sea level, spewing oxygenated carbon particles for decades before settling back into the water for a re-containment period of indeterminate length.
The process converts old buildings, plastics and human rubble into carbon particles that are later spread throughout the oceans until it is spread into the air as poisonous gas. The gas floats off into the atmosphere where it is transformed into replenishing rain for the New Earth. By this time, all human infection has been cleansed, and the planet is entering a renovation stage, still thousands of years before the appearance of Mother Earth’s new children, the smart and gentle apes of today. The last floating island is believed to have settled into the ocean over 15,000 years ago.
Humans never figured out that they were not God’s creation, or God’s idea… that humans had invented God to hide from the fact that they were the children of the Earth. Such knowledge might have prompted them to manage their behavior more responsibly. And to seek their own Godly humanity.
NEXT WEEK: Professor Kay on why Apes of today are superior beings to Humans of the past. And a performance by beloved mime troupe Classical Monkey.
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