Piker Press Banner
April 15, 2024

Dinner With Henry 11: The Plan

By Bruce Memblatt

Diego and Henry were walking down Delancey Street.

"Honey, now that you've bought a dress and we've started Lamaze classes don't you think it's about time we plan the wedding?"

"I don't know, Henry," Diego said looking at baby strolled by in a carriage, "we will need a carriage."

"Yes, but first we will need a wedding?"

"We will need both, Henry but the baby will need a carriage." Diego sighed.

In the meanwhile in the kitchen:

"Shakespeare, I was just thinking maybe Henry and Diego could have their wedding right here in the kitchen! After all, that is where they met! And we have all the food we could possibly need! Wouldn't it be lovely? Yvette could be Diego's flower girl, and I could make all kinds of delights. And I could sing as they came down the aisle." Andre said flipping a pancake.

"We don't have an aisle." Shakespeare snapped.

"Don't be silly we will make an aisle! And I will bake an enormous cake!"

"Yeah, you could put a big bug on top of it."

"You mean you? You leetle shoe! Maybe we should ask Simpson?" Andre said looking quizzically at the door.

"Shouldn't we ask Henry and Diego first?"

"Of course, we should, but how could they resist! The kitchen is like our home! Where else would they have their wedding? It is perfect. Just perfect! Oh we'll make decorations too!

"We will make center pieces with fancy creases.
We will have flower petals and silver kettles,
And all kinds of lovely notions when Henry and Diego
Pledge their devotion."

"Don't forget the Calamine lotion." Shakespeare chortled.

"You know something, Shakespeare? You're not really capturing the spirit."

In the meanwhile back on Delancey Street:

"Diego I have an idea, what about asking my mother if we could hold the wedding in the loft?"

"Henry, you are forgetting something." Diego said adjusting her hat.

"What am I forgetting?"

"Henry, your mother despises me. She doesn't want us to get married, and she doesn't want me to have your baby." Diego breathed and stared up at the windows in the loft.

"Oh that, but she will get used to us in time, and when she sees the baby ..."Henry smiled.

"She will say 'Half bug won't do' and spit."

In the meanwhile back in the kitchen:

"Simpson, you showed up at the perfect time! Shakespeare and I were just wondering if we could hold Henry and Diego's wedding in the kitchen." Andre said pointing his spoon at Simpson.

"Well, he was wondering. I was sort of volunteered." Shakespeare shrugged while he searched through the freezer.

"Now, Shakespeare you are Henry and Diego's friend too!"

"May I speak, Andre?"

"Of course, I am so sorry, Mr. Simpson, chat away."

A confused look jumped across Simpson's face. "Thank you so much, Andre." His eyebrows rose. "What I was going to say was we'd have to ask Henry's mother."

"Uh oh," Shakespeare said, and he threw his hands in the air.

"Now wait just a minute, Shakespeare, She is Henry's mother. How could a mother refuse such a simple request? It is unthinkable. She is a woman with a heart!"

"She is a bug with an attitude."

"It is a good thing Henry is not here to hear this! That is all I can say, Shakespeare! A mother is a mother is a mother, like Tenneva Jordan said, "A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."

"Well, we certainly know she likes her pie." Shakespeare needled.

"If I may intervene for a moment?" Simpson said, clearing his throat.

"Of course, Simpson, intervene away," Shakespeare giggled.

"First of all we don't know if Henry and Diego want their wedding in the kitchen. Wait, Andre. Also the kitchen is kind of small for a wedding, not to mention you, Andre and Shakespeare will be Henry's wedding guests not his servants."

"But, Mr. Simpson, I love to cook! There is nothing more I'd rather do than cook for Henry and Diego's wedding! It will be my gift to the bride and the groom!"

"Good way to save a few bucks on a gift." Shakespeare grinned.

"Now Shakespeare, not so fast! I will be getting them a regular gift, too." Andre said, pointing wildly at Shakespeare.

"Rats I was hoping I could save a few bucks on a gift." Shakespeare sighed.

"Okay, I will ask Clarissa if she'll let the wedding take place in the kitchen." Simpson said and then he walked towards the door.

"Thank you, Mr. Simpson. See, Shakespeare, he is not so bad! "

In the meanwhile back on Delancey Street:

"Henry, if you want to ask her if we can use the loft go ahead, but she will say no." Diego said holding her hand over her eyes.

"We'll see, Diego," Henry sighed. "It's very sunny out today."

"When will you ask her? Maybe we should elope?" Diego said wistfully stretching her hands in the air.

"Now, Diego we will have a nice wedding with our friends."

"Our friends are strange, Henry. Do you have a pencil?"

"There are a lot of windows in the loft" Henry said looking up at the windows in the loft.

"I think we will need a very large bar." Diego said looking up at the windows in the loft.

Henry cleared his throat, and pulled in his thorax.

"Well I am going in to ask her."

He stepped towards the door of the warehouse.

"Henry there are so many warehouses on this block."Diego breathed.

In the meanwhile back in the kitchen:

"Ooh I wonder what She will say, Shakespeare? I hope Simpson asks her properly -- you know sometimes he can be a little, what's the word I'm looking for?" Andre said, leaning his index finger against the side of his head.

"Pushy?"

"Well let's say he is direct. And that is not such a horrible thing to be. Many great leaders were direct." Andre smiled.

"Well you can say direct but I'm sticking with pushy."

"You know something, you're no Gene Kelly yourself."

"Gene who?"

"Oh never mind! Why do I get up in the mornings, why?" Andre said, holding his hands over his head.

"To order me about?"

"Oh Santa Lucia! Please someone have pity on me!" Andre said and then he held his hands in prayer. "Oh hello, Diego."

"Hello, "Diego said as she entered the kitchen looking more puzzled than she usually looked. She walked to the back of the kitchen and put her bag on the counter, and began rummaging through it.

"So, Diego where is Henry today?" Andre called while he stirred a sauce.

"Do you have a pencil?" Diego called back to Andre.

"Like you were going to get an answer from her." Shakespeare said, snickering as he rolled a pastry.

"Shakespeare, what has gotten in to you today! "

"Henry went to have a talk with his mother." Diego breathed, still rummaging through her bag.

"Really!" Andres's ears perked up. "And may I be so bold as to inquire as to what Henry went to talk to his dear mother about."

"Oh, brother," Shakespeare shrugged.

"Henry went to ask his mother if we could use the loft for the wedding."

"Oh, I see," Andre said turning red and sinking.

Shakespeare toppled over, cackling.

"Why do you ask?" Diego breathed staring across the kitchen at Andre.

"Well you are not going to believe this, Diego but I had just convinced Simpson to ask Her if we could use the kitchen for the wedding! I thought it would be such a great idea. It was going to be a surprise for you and Henry! And, now, again I have caused turmoil! Again, I have opened my mouth too soon. Again, I have made ..."

"A complete fool of yourself?" Shakespeare laughed.

"Thank you for all your help, Shakespeare!

"You itsy bitsy flea
I should make you poison tea."

"Like we could tell the difference." Shakespeare said and then Andre began chasing him around the stove.

"Don't be silly, the kitchen is much too small for a wedding," Diego sighed and then she held a pencil triumphantly in the air.

"There, I've found my pencil."

In the meanwhile in the loft:

Henry stood on the floor looking up at his mother. Her black eyes darted back and forth. Her furry head swung down to meet Henry and she buzzed.

"Henry what is going on today?"

"What do you mean, Mother?" Henry said looking up in the air at his mother's head.

"Simpson was just here. He said that the chef, the one who talks too much, wanted permission to use the kitchen for the wedding and now you're asking me about the loft."

Her tentacle moved back and forth.

"I had no idea, Mother. I didn't ask Andre to ask you about the kitchen."

"Your friends are strange, Henry and the kitchen is much too small for a wedding."

"It is too small for a wedding. So, can we use the loft?"

"I insist, Henry, now go tell your chef the wedding will be held in the loft."

"Will do, Mother, and thank you."

"Well you are still my son, Henry, no matter how many foolish mistakes you make."

Henry smiled and scampered off to the kitchen.

She sadistically buzzed, "Wait and see, Henry, the perfect place for the wedding. Ha!"

Article © Bruce Memblatt. All rights reserved.
Published on 2010-07-26
0 Reader Comments
Your Comments






The Piker Press moderates all comments.
Click here for the commenting policy.