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August 08, 2022

Dinner With Henry 50: What a Swell Party It Was

By Bruce Memblatt

Still sitting on the floor by the dessert counter, passing a bottle of rum between them, Andre and Diego continued to stare at Her tentacle as it swept across the floor. Cups sitting in cabinets struggled against her pull as the walls shook. Shakespeare toppled over.

A spoon fell off the dessert counter. Andre caught it in his hands and cried, "She will destroy the kitchen!"

Shakespeare tossed Diego her shirt. Diego quickly pulled it over her shoulders and breathed, "It's a good thing she hasn't seen."

The walls began to shake hard, and then Her head swerved around the ceiling. Pots crashed to the floor and She buzzed, "I've seen. I've seen the debauchery you three have been engaged in. Thank god, Henry doesn't know." She buzz-snickered, "Of course I will tell him."

Then Andre shook his head as his eyes darted up towards her. "No, Clarissa, you must not say a word to Henry -- he will misunderstand!"

"Oh, he won't misunderstand -- he will finally get it right and leave this strumpet," She buzzed, moving her tentacle wildly against the linoleum.

Shakespeare stood, then toppled over again. The bottle of rum fell from his hands and rolled across the floor, stopping inches before the door.

Diego stretched her legs and said, "Oh, pay that big bug no mind, Andre, she is all wind."

Clarissa raised her tentacle and thrashed it across the floor. "And you are all harlot! My Henry never should have married you."

Andre waved his hands and cried, "Now, now, Clarissa, you don't understand -- Diego removed her shirt merely to make a point."

Then Diego turned her head and breathed, "Where is the rum?"

Andre slapped his head and said, "Where is the rum, she asks? Where is the rum?"

Shakespeare snapped, "Well, it is a good question!"

Then She swept her tentacle across the floor and dragged the bottle of rum, depositing it at Diego's heels, buzzing, "Here, have some more rum, floozy."

Which caused Shakespeare to grin. "Oooh, a cat fight, I mean bug fight, I mean ..."

Diego, undaunted, raised her head high and said to Clarissa, "What is the use? You can't argue with someone who doesn't have a heart."

Andre, looking perplexed, curled his nose and said, "That is very interesting, Diego, but I think one can indeed argue with someone who doesn't have a heart."

Clarissa reared her head and buzzed, "I have a heart, but I also have a brain. And I have eyes. Eyes that see everything."

Diego sighed, "Eyes that see everything and take in nothing."

Then Andre's eyes widened. He scratched his chin and said, "Diego, since when have you become such a philosopher?"

Diego tossed her hair, exposing her scar and she said, "When I drink, I can do anything, dodo bird."

Shakespeare toppled over, giggling. "She called you a dodo."

"You know what, Shakespeare? You are never funny."

Suddenly Diego raised the bottle of rum in the air, pointed it towards Clarissa and breathed, "Have some, Mother."

She swatted the floor with her tentacle. "I'm not your mother, and I don't need booze to dull my senses."

"That's because you don't have any," Shakespeare snapped.

As if she was wounded, Clarissa spread her wing and she buzzed, "This is the thanks I get after inviting you all for tea."

Article © Bruce Memblatt. All rights reserved.
Published on 2011-07-25
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