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July 04, 2022

Dinner With Henry 68: OOPS

By Bruce Memblatt

"But where are we going to get explosives, Simpson?" Andre said. His hair appeared frazzled, he gazed cross-eyed at Simpson, as he still stood over the stove, hoping the day would just go away.

Simpson clicked his heels and said, "I just happen to have some in my office. I knew one day I would need them here."

"Of course, I should have known," Andre said, slapping his head.

Then he felt Shakespeare knee him and whisper, "Strange man."

"Yes, and I am afraid we don't know the half of it."

Simpson's eyes perked, "What was that, Andre?"

"Oh nothing, Simpson, I was just telling Shakespeare that later I would teach him how to properly fold an egg."

Then Simpson stared off into the distance and said, "If there is a later."

Henry took in the scene with disbelief; were they really going to blow away his mother's precious door? He guessed being her son, he could continue on, but what would happen to the others? Simpson would certainly be fired, if not worse. What would she do to Andre and Shakespeare? He watched Andre standing at the stove and Shakespeare below him, and he wondered if this would be the last time he saw them there, but this was important: the fate of the world rested on what they did today in that warehouse on Delancey Street.

Suddenly Diego entered the kitchen. She moved across the floor as if she were engaged in a slow waltz, and she breathed, "What is happening here, Henry?"

Henry's eyes bugged up and he said, "We're blowing away mother's door."

"I see," she slowly turned and said, "I think I should stay upstairs with Winifred, and the cat." And then she waltzed out of the kitchen.

"This is indeed a very strange day in the kitchen," Andre said whilst he covered a pot on the stove.

"You can say that again," Shakespeare snapped.

"This is indeed a very strange day in the kitchen."

"Okay enough fun and games." Simpson cleared his throat and said, "Andre, come help me get the explosives."

Andre slouched and said," Okay, okay" and then he muttered something under his breath as he marched through the kitchen door with Simpson.

That left Shakespeare and Henry alone in the kitchen.

Shakespeare stood by the stove, wishing he was taller, and he said, "It's funny, but I don't think we've ever been alone in the kitchen together."

Henry scratched his head, his thorax rumbled a little because he was hungry, and he said, " But how can we be alone and together?"

"I have nothing to say to you," Shakespeare said. An uncomfortable silence fell over the kitchen for several minutes until Andre and Simpson returned, and the pots and pans almost winced..

Andre and Simpson entered the kitchen carrying a large box. They set it on top of the butcher block table adjacent to the stove. Then Andre began pulling sticks of TNT out of the box.

Henry looked nervously at Simpson and he said, "Um, Simpson are you sure about this? We could blow the entire warehouse to smithereens."

Andre became all flustered and cried, "That's what I've been trying to tell him, but he will not listen. He is going to kill us all. HE IS A LUNTATIC!"

"Let's shoot him," Shakespeare snapped. "C'mon who's gonna know? Who is gonna care?"

"Very funny," Simpson said, holding a stick of dynamite, pointing it towards Shakespeare, "You don't understand, with these sticks carefully placed there should be no danger. Regardless, most of the dynamite will be placed in that other world behind the door. That is our main target."

Then Henry stared at Simpson and said, "But things get bigger behind the door, this could cause a massive explosion, massive!" His wing darted up and down like a jumping bean.

"Yes, but it will be behind the door, Henry."

Henry looked at Simpson like he was a man from Mars and he scratched his head again.

"All right all right," Andre cried, his hands falling to his sides in exhaustion, "let us just freaking do this already!"

"Freaking?" Shakespeare said while he paced back and forth between the stove and the table.

"Yes, freaking. Let's go!"

Simpson, Andre, Shakespeare and Henry left the kitchen. They traveled quietly down the hall wondering what their fate might be. They stepped over a bucket because Sincere had just mopped the floor. The hallway seemed ominous and foreboding that Friday morning. Shadows held mystery. The light appeared to be leading them into unchartered waters. There was a smell of ammonia and doom in the air. With each step they took their breaths grew quicker and their fears grew larger.

It was Andre who entered the loft first.

He moved his head back and forth and then he whispered, "Quick, the coast is clear."

Then Simpson, Henry and Shakespeare quickly followed Andre inside the loft.

"You are right, Andre, the coast is clear -- there's not a sign of her." Simpson said and then he turned around and went back to the hall and dragged the box of explosives he left there through the doorway.

Henry asked, "Would you like me to help you with that, Simpson?"

"No, I am fine, Henry, just keep a lookout for your mother."

"She must be asleep in another room," Henry said as he stared up towards the skylight. The sun was brilliant that morning. It looked like a picture perfect day.

"Either that or she's hiding somewhere watching us," Shakespeare said, tugging on Andre's leg.

"I think she is a little too big to be hiding, Shakespeare."

"I would not put anything past her, never trust the big," Shakespeare snapped.

Andre pointed at Shakespeare, "Soon you may be big, too."

"Not if my plan works, now let's go!" Simpson said and then they all scrambled across the main room of the loft to the hallway that led to the door.

They stood before the door in silent anticipation, their breaths almost halted. Henry knew this was an important moment. His wing stood still.

Simpson broke the silence when he removed two sticks of TNT from the box. He placed one in front of the door and then he tossed one to Andre.

"Gheez be careful, "Andre said as he caught the stick in his hand, "This isn't celery this is DYNAMITE!"

"Don't be such a daffodil, Andre," Simpson said and he pulled in his chest.

"Yeah, be a marigold," Shakespeare quipped.

"Andre, please just place the dynamite I gave you about ten feet adjacent to the door. In the meanwhile I'll place the rest behind the door."

They watched Simpson open the door and step through it carrying the dynamite, and then they saw him and the explosives disappear.

Andre eyes bulged and he said, "Oops."

Simpson was gone. In the distance they heard the lonely sounds of Alarm screaming in the kitchen because Simpson vanished exactly at the stroke of noon.

Article © Bruce Memblatt. All rights reserved.
Published on 2012-06-11
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