2004 Piker Press Ghost Story Contest Results
Additional judging staff had to be brought in to break up the ties, but the results are official.
Winner: "Metaphysical Sex" by Kellie Gillespie
Also nominated for Best Story:
"Ghost Voices" by Stephanie Star
"Seduction" by Wendy Robards
A favorite Piker past-time since 2001 and the inspiration behind the founding of the Piker Press, National Novel Writing Month kicks off on November 1st. Anyone who finishes is a winner, and the only prize is the satisfaction of having written a novel, but what a delightful prize it is!
The official site at NaNoWriMo.org describes it beautifully in the following manner:
National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.
Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over talent and craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.
Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.
Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.
Sign up at www.nanowrimo.org to take advantage of their dreadfully appealing word count bars that will graphically depict, by way of a colored line, your progress toward fifty thousand words (woo!). Drop us a line at email@example.com and we'll also add your name to the front page list of Filthy Pikers who are valiantly undertaking the same goal.
Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest
This contest is seeking the best parody poem that has been submitted to a vanity poem contest as a joke. Vanity contests are known to accept almost all entries as "winners," thereby hoping to sell products like anthologies, plaques and other items to the authors.
The contest is open to all writers of any nationality. Poems must be in the English language, although they also accept "inspired gibberish." Only one entry is allowed per person, and online submissions are encouraged.
First place -- $1,190
Second place -- $169
Third place -- $60
Five Honorable Mentions -- $38 each
Entries are accepted August 15, 2004 to April 1, 2005. There is no entry fee.
Here is an example of a parody poem deliberately written for the National Library of Poetry Contest. Despite the author's best efforts, it was selected as a "winner." Notice the acronym.
--- from http://wockyjivvy.com/poetry/shame/dawn.html
Dawn of a New Eve
Now he offers me dark fruit;
A piece of pie for my bloodroot.
Thick serpent slithers through my verse;
Is what he seeks inside my purse?
"Oh Eve, I ssssavor what you wrote!"
Now he's coiled around my throat.
All hiss and whispers of my gift;
Lisp service for a pot of grift.
Lo still, I find, my id is tempted.
I note my ethics are pre-empted.
Behold, he swooned because of me!
Regaled and cheered my mastery!
Am I savant, as he has said?
Resplendent muse, or just misled?
You tell me now, how good is this?
O, shall I sell my soul to him?
Forsake what's good -- for one fake gem?
Prior to pythonic squeeze;
One last question, I must wheeze.
Each word, dear Adam, just a ruse
To shame my avaricious muse.
Rejoicing in iambic wreck;
You think he'll really cash my cheque?
...and don't forget:
Darklight anti-fanfic, running now through Jan 31, 2005. Retell the terrible sci-fi channel movie to share among fellow (anti)fans or come up with an original idea based on the demoness Lilith for possible publication in the Press. More info.