Opinion

It's kickoff weekend for summer movie viewing for Sand and Bernie, and off they go to see <i>X-Men 3: The Last Stand</i>.

I expected starry-eyed romantic fluff, and I was not disappointed. However, Gravitation has a dark side that I didn't anticipate, and this, along with the endearing characters, really won me over.

The hurricane season won't start until June, but Florida's residents face a new devastating threat. Iguanas and giant snakes. Fortunately, the answer can be delivered in 30 minutes or less.

<p>This month I'm dabbling in genres I rarely read. And although I love thrillers, I never read horror. You have to realize: I don't <i>read</i> books any more than I <i>watch</i> movies. I <i>live</i> them. And nobody wants to <i>live</i> certain books or movies.

The author takes a personal look at the other side of the barrier that separates her autistic sister from the rest of the world.

It's a rare memoir that keeps me up at night, but I read The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion, in three days with little sleep. I felt a little voyeuristic reading this intimate peek into a marriage, but like any addictive habit, I just couldn't stop myself from peeping.

In the horror movies, traveling off the beaten path always means sure death for the vacationing family. Thank goodness real people aren't stupid enough to do that.

A flashback from Basil's schooldays. The boy was Clay Plank. The bet was to drink 14 boxes of chocolate milk in seven minutes. Legends are born in strange ways sometimes, and the legend of Clayton Plank was born that day. (Originally appeared 2005-08-01)

Sun Tzu, the Art of War, corporate America and drinking coffee. They're all more closely entertwined than most sane people realize. (Originally appeared 2005-01-23)

For everybody who's ever had to sit through a planetarium show or an astronomy class on the seventh planet and try not to snigger, here is an enlightening little summary just for you, complete with talking cow cartoons. (Originally appeared 2003-04-28)

<b>Grocery Shopping, It's Not Just a Chore, It's an Adventure. </b>Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the grocery store, our intrepid girl reporter tells you all the reasons why it is better to fast than shop. (Originally appeared 2004-05-29)

Travel. Good for the lungs. Good for the brain. It's too much to hope for that it would be good for the bowels, too.

A fortuitious accident, Shadow Baby is delightful and funny and sweet. And bitterly, painfully sad. You will laugh, and grieve, and rage. But you won't be bored, not for a minute.

What are the two most stress-producing words in the english language? Venomous spider? Super volcano? Prostate exam? Small beans, all of them. If you want to pack the maximum amount of anxiety and aggravation into two words, you need only to say, "April 15th".

If you wear a tin foil hat, be assured that people are going to start asking you questions.

Time to ask the psychic hair questions of deep importance. Where do skidmarks go when you wear a thong? And what's with all those gay cowboys, lately?

Gorgeous animation, fascinating plot. You would think this sci-fi adventure would be a winner.

Can a parent raised by wolves handle the inevitable invitations for her child to attend birthday parties? Not gracefully.

Drawn together by the birth of baby Hope and the simultaneous death of Hope's mother, three women move into an uneasy house. None of them like the others; all of them adore the baby. On such unstable ground, a home is built in Katie Willard's tribute to women, womanhood and motherhood.

Kids love the place. Parents can stand it. Since they don't serve adult beverages there, just have a slice of generation gap with sausage and pepperoni on top.

Minnesota's gubernatorial elections first brought us Jesse Ventura. This year, they bring us candidate Jonathon Sharkey, self-proclaimed vampire. That's wrong. Wrong and stupid. Not that he's running, but that a delusional wacko has a better grip on some of the concepts involved than many mainstream politicians, educators and rights activists.

The Internet was fifteen years old last November 13. And like many fifteen year olds, it's primarily obsessed with computer games, celebrity gossip and porn. But with all the things out there to care about, it hardly tops the list.

Cruelty to animals is wrong. Wearing fur just might be, too. But when kitty falls hard for a raccoon skin hat, the resulting ethical tangle is one that only hardcore ALFers could figure out. That ain't bad manners, that's just good lovin.

Time now for another exciting round of "Ask an Expert," where I call upon years of half-paying-attention in school and watching "documentaries" like Fox's Alien Autopsy to answer questions that were never directed towards me in the first place.

Never take anything for granted -- especially in New York City.

People in their fifties get all the cool benefits. Is there even any point to ages 30-49?

Geek chic adds brain power to boutique? It just may be that clothes really do make the man.

Money, status, plastic surgery... none of it means anything to a snarky writer. What does it take to impress Alex? A pile of worms.

Sure, I'll resolve to work out more this year, just like I have every year before this. But only if "feel the burn" applies to my muscles, and not my poor eyes.

2005 in review... to the tune of a popular Christmas carol. Get ready to sing along as we cover the high- and low-lights of 2005.