Opinion

People in their fifties get all the cool benefits. Is there even any point to ages 30-49?

Geek chic adds brain power to boutique? It just may be that clothes really do make the man.

Money, status, plastic surgery... none of it means anything to a snarky writer. What does it take to impress Alex? A pile of worms.

Sure, I'll resolve to work out more this year, just like I have every year before this. But only if "feel the burn" applies to my muscles, and not my poor eyes.

2005 in review... to the tune of a popular Christmas carol. Get ready to sing along as we cover the high- and low-lights of 2005.

If you want to know what Hurricane Katrina cost the nation, you could start by reading <em>Liquor</em>, by Poppy Z. Brite. A native of New Orleans, Brite paints a vivid picture of the New Orleans Katrina blew away, a place rich in flavor, personality and intrigue.

Christmas belongs to everyone. No matter how weird they are.

Bernie and Sand brave the rainy weather and insane holiday traffic in order to find the lost world of Kong, King of the Island, and Peter Jackson's pet project.

Friends mocking you because what you want for Christmas is a little weird? Here's an array of inexpensive (and disgusting) gift ideas that will make your wishlist seem positively mundane.

New Jersey's state slogan is getting a new makeover -- and you know if someone says, "makeover," California has just got to join in.

What's full of hostility, brawls and senseless violence? Holiday shopping on Black Friday, Wal-Mart style. We can't always blame Capitol Hill for our bad image.

Sand and Bernie track down the elusive Crow's Nest restaurant in search of the truth: is the Crow's Nest really as good as some say it is?

Marijuana promotes brain cell growth? Ritalin is the new illegal drug of choice? If the headlines are to be believed, the psychiatric industry is getting a little weird. And when Tom Cruise starts making sense about something, you know things are going seriously awry.

Famed anime director Katsuhiro Otomo spent eight years working on this film, and the animation is gorgeous. But despite some visual appeal and an all-star voice cast, this tale of ninteenth-century, steam-powered technical espionage finds itself in desperate need of a plot mechanic to give it an overhaul.

A summer day is shattered when a woman pulls on her one-piece bathing suit only to find that a wasp had been snoozing in the garment's crotch. Neither the wasp nor the woman will ever be the same.

Hell hath no fury like a cat with cold, wet feet. If only they were migratory creatures. Then we wouldn't have to make statements like, "Cat: it's what's for dinner".

Some people will toss a book if it doesn't thrill them after the first two or three pages. Alex made it to page 25 of Yasmine Galenorn's supernatural-romance-mystery and then gave up the ghost. Here's why.

The heck with makin the little critters wear helmets when they ride their bicycles. Make em wear protective gear when they're learning to use the toilet.

Visually stunning, wonderful characters, and great samurai action, this historical action drama earns high marks.

In Which They Slice Me Wide Open, and Other Tales Worthy to Relate (Part 4 of 4). General anaesthesia, catheters, day-time television... the horrors of Basil's hospital experience are almost too many to enumerate. Thank heavens for pretty nurses. And drugs.

You can't pick your neighbors. And it would be boring if they were all completely well behaved, without any strange little idiosyncrasies. You come to be fond of "Decorates Every Holiday With Lighted Lawn Art -- Even The Obscure Ones Like Boxing Day and Dental Floss Week -- Woman." And what neighborhood would be complete without a "Two-Stroke Engine Man"?

Computer games are the source of all evil. Seriously. Especially solitaire.

A man's quest for a satisfactory razor begins in his youth. With the advent of the Mach 3 Power Nitro, this is one quest with a happy ending. Tough beard or sensitive skin, wet or dry, guy or gal, this seems to be the best in comfortable hair removal.

In Which I Prepare for Some Early Morning Surgery (Part 3 of 4). You always hear about things going wrong in the operating room, so Basil decides to get his affairs in order. He double-checked on his life insurance. He talked to his wife about "persistent vegetative states." He spent extra time with his daughter. He rewatched his favorite Don Knotts movies.

This is no roll-your-eyes B-grade film. It is a beautiful, breath-taking, hilarious film that acknowledges and embraces the most ludicrous aspects of martial arts films, uses them to make you howl with laughter, and then continues on to make what is actually a wonderful martial arts movie in its own right.

In Which I Discover That I Am Indeed Headed for Surgery (Part 2 of 4). Just who is this mysterious neurosurgeon, "Dr. Chong," that Basil is supposed to see? Basil's nights are haunted by dreams of the shadowy Dr. Chong slicing into his skull to remove chunks of spongy brain matter. Yeah. He's probably gonna wind up paralyzed, slurping up baby food and drooling into a bib.

Ah, the ancient rhythm of harvest and planting is deeply soothing to the soul. Almost so soothing as to distract one from the ancient rhythm of making one's relatives angry. But, wait -- you can do both!

On the Circumstances Prior to My Recent Back Surgery (Part 1 of 4). Deep South home remedies and an ex-airplane-mechanic-turned-chiropractor who is obsessed with Vietnam, Star Trek and smoking prove inadequate to deal with Basil's back pain.

Break out yer polka dotted bandana, strap a patch over yer bad eye and gird up yer loins with the pantaloons that don't have that embarrassing zipper problem, because September 19th is National Talk Like A Pirate Day.

The tale of a sorcerer who must tranform his lover from a dragon back into a woman before she is slain to stop her rampaging, Orphen has a few things going for it - interesting characters, intriguing story, decent pacing. But sloppy details in character names, animation and subtitles prevent this series from getting a higher grade.