Opinion

Can a parent raised by wolves handle the inevitable invitations for her child to attend birthday parties? Not gracefully.

Drawn together by the birth of baby Hope and the simultaneous death of Hope's mother, three women move into an uneasy house. None of them like the others; all of them adore the baby. On such unstable ground, a home is built in Katie Willard's tribute to women, womanhood and motherhood.

Kids love the place. Parents can stand it. Since they don't serve adult beverages there, just have a slice of generation gap with sausage and pepperoni on top.

Minnesota's gubernatorial elections first brought us Jesse Ventura. This year, they bring us candidate Jonathon Sharkey, self-proclaimed vampire. That's wrong. Wrong and stupid. Not that he's running, but that a delusional wacko has a better grip on some of the concepts involved than many mainstream politicians, educators and rights activists.

The Internet was fifteen years old last November 13. And like many fifteen year olds, it's primarily obsessed with computer games, celebrity gossip and porn. But with all the things out there to care about, it hardly tops the list.

Cruelty to animals is wrong. Wearing fur just might be, too. But when kitty falls hard for a raccoon skin hat, the resulting ethical tangle is one that only hardcore ALFers could figure out. That ain't bad manners, that's just good lovin.

Time now for another exciting round of "Ask an Expert," where I call upon years of half-paying-attention in school and watching "documentaries" like Fox's Alien Autopsy to answer questions that were never directed towards me in the first place.

Never take anything for granted -- especially in New York City.

People in their fifties get all the cool benefits. Is there even any point to ages 30-49?

Geek chic adds brain power to boutique? It just may be that clothes really do make the man.

Money, status, plastic surgery... none of it means anything to a snarky writer. What does it take to impress Alex? A pile of worms.

Sure, I'll resolve to work out more this year, just like I have every year before this. But only if "feel the burn" applies to my muscles, and not my poor eyes.

2005 in review... to the tune of a popular Christmas carol. Get ready to sing along as we cover the high- and low-lights of 2005.

If you want to know what Hurricane Katrina cost the nation, you could start by reading <em>Liquor</em>, by Poppy Z. Brite. A native of New Orleans, Brite paints a vivid picture of the New Orleans Katrina blew away, a place rich in flavor, personality and intrigue.

Christmas belongs to everyone. No matter how weird they are.

Bernie and Sand brave the rainy weather and insane holiday traffic in order to find the lost world of Kong, King of the Island, and Peter Jackson's pet project.

Friends mocking you because what you want for Christmas is a little weird? Here's an array of inexpensive (and disgusting) gift ideas that will make your wishlist seem positively mundane.

New Jersey's state slogan is getting a new makeover -- and you know if someone says, "makeover," California has just got to join in.

What's full of hostility, brawls and senseless violence? Holiday shopping on Black Friday, Wal-Mart style. We can't always blame Capitol Hill for our bad image.

Sand and Bernie track down the elusive Crow's Nest restaurant in search of the truth: is the Crow's Nest really as good as some say it is?

Marijuana promotes brain cell growth? Ritalin is the new illegal drug of choice? If the headlines are to be believed, the psychiatric industry is getting a little weird. And when Tom Cruise starts making sense about something, you know things are going seriously awry.

Famed anime director Katsuhiro Otomo spent eight years working on this film, and the animation is gorgeous. But despite some visual appeal and an all-star voice cast, this tale of ninteenth-century, steam-powered technical espionage finds itself in desperate need of a plot mechanic to give it an overhaul.

A summer day is shattered when a woman pulls on her one-piece bathing suit only to find that a wasp had been snoozing in the garment's crotch. Neither the wasp nor the woman will ever be the same.

Hell hath no fury like a cat with cold, wet feet. If only they were migratory creatures. Then we wouldn't have to make statements like, "Cat: it's what's for dinner".

Some people will toss a book if it doesn't thrill them after the first two or three pages. Alex made it to page 25 of Yasmine Galenorn's supernatural-romance-mystery and then gave up the ghost. Here's why.

The heck with makin the little critters wear helmets when they ride their bicycles. Make em wear protective gear when they're learning to use the toilet.

Visually stunning, wonderful characters, and great samurai action, this historical action drama earns high marks.

In Which They Slice Me Wide Open, and Other Tales Worthy to Relate (Part 4 of 4). General anaesthesia, catheters, day-time television... the horrors of Basil's hospital experience are almost too many to enumerate. Thank heavens for pretty nurses. And drugs.

You can't pick your neighbors. And it would be boring if they were all completely well behaved, without any strange little idiosyncrasies. You come to be fond of "Decorates Every Holiday With Lighted Lawn Art -- Even The Obscure Ones Like Boxing Day and Dental Floss Week -- Woman." And what neighborhood would be complete without a "Two-Stroke Engine Man"?

Computer games are the source of all evil. Seriously. Especially solitaire.