Opinion

Dali. Rembrandt. O'Keeffe. Picasso. You can lead children to art, but you can't make them like it.

Bubba Ho-Tep and the Elvis Everywhere Phenomenon. The pop-culture phenom we see these days is hardly a flattering portrayal of the King of Rock and Roll. My case in point: the recently released (on DVD) movie of Bubba Ho-Tep.

The first hot summery day of the year and Sand and Bernie rush off to the movies to check out "The Revenge of the Sith"! Will they love it or hate it?

Nothing spells portion control like a severed finger in your fresh chili. A commentary on the gripping tale of customer Anna Ayala, who claimed this past March to have been literally given the finger while dining at a Wendy's in San Jose.

<b>On the Sad Death and Subsequent Resurrection of My Muse.</b> A writer wrestles with block, only to find a cure in, of all places, the pages of James Joyce.

If you want to know how to surf the Internet safely, go ask an old fashioned Baby Boomer. You may have thought your parents were out of touch, but it turns out that they were just ahead of their time. And in the wrong industry.

Review of The Mark of Voodoo, a book by Sharon Caulder, PhD. Terrible scholarly treatise, great trashy read.

<b>The flu-shot.</b> Sure, skipping the flu-shot might <i>seem</i> like a good idea, but trust Basil, it's snot.

Yes, you've forgotten Mother's day, but it isn't too late to make this the best Mother's Day she ever had. And you might end up feeling pretty good, yourself.

Don't bother with all the high cost of psychiatric advice -- better mental health is just a bowl of cereal away.

Rich characters and vivid dreams provide the counterpoint to this tale of relationships as Solange Ambris loses first her exquisite but straying husband, then her admirable but controlling mother, leaving the middle-aged Sully left with the task of finally deciding for herself who she is when not defined by others.

<b>Check-out Girl.</b> Once upon a time, back when the cold war was raging and ugly gold medallions were considered the height of fashion, I attended high school. One of the girls in my class, Ann, was funny, pretty and absolutely brilliant &mdash; a straight A student all through school. I found out recently that sometimes the brilliant ones don't make it in life the way you'd think. Sometimes they fall through the cracks.

Just call em the St. Louis Carnies and be done with it, because this whole steroids-in-baseball freak show isn't going to be over until the Bearded Lady strikes out.

A look at the classic novel, "Mrs. Mike" &mdash; romance and dead cows in the Great White North.

The White Trash Gene (WTG) is a recessive gene but unlike other recessive genetic abnormalities, this one doesn?t require procreation to wreak its havoc. It simply requires the close proximity of another like-gened sufferer.

Nothing ruins a birthday like the Oscars. Don't try to emulate celebrities, people, they're professionals.

<b>In Which I Dispose of Wolf Blitzer, Scooby Doo and Seinfeld, Which Results in Doghouse Status for Me.</b> Basil throws away a perfectly good television set and lives to tell the tale. Barely. First appeared 2005-01-01

There's no better way to say "I love you" than with the gift of a home enema kit. First appeared 2004-12-25

Life is a lot like the journey to the Land of Oz, and when you get right down to it, even Glinda is a little more "witch" than "good".

<b>Good Morning, McDougall St. </b>Families of first generation Americans behave in certain predictable manners. Adults tend to keep to their own kind, usually, because theirs is the only language they speak. The kids, however, share a world, floating down a river of English that their parents can only watch from the shore. First appeared 2003-12-20

<b>In Which I Revisit My Childhood, Courtesy of Sid and Marty Kroft.</b> The seventies were a time of terribly drawn, poorly scripted Saturday morning tv shows, and yet there is still a little magic underneath the silly rubber suits in the Land of the Lost.

Don't blame parents for bringing that brat to church -- Jesus was the one who said, "Let the little children come to Me." We have to assume that God gets a kick out having the little critters around. Even with their incessant nose-picking.

Signing up for health insurance is almost worse than life threatening diseases.

<b>Planting a Cigarette Bomb.</b> From an era when varsity high school students could smoke on campus with a permit from their folks is further evidence that smoking is not good for your health.

Just when you thought it was safe to take your next breath, someone you know is telling you that it isn't. What should you do? Intrepid girl reporter Tedi Trindle takes you on a tour of the "Culture of Fear".

Fishing isn't a hobby - to this family, it's a disorder. Giant fish, demon fish, fish so mean you gotta beat 'em with a hammer: it doesn't matter when you're a mad fishin' foo!

<b>The Sad Demise of Larry the Pig.</b> For a biting varmint, Larry the Guinea Pig had quite a bit of personality. When he passed, the holes he left in his family's hearts were larger even than the ones he had left in their fingers.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, a team from Brown University has discovered that the human eye is gross. But it takes a married couple to make science downright nauseating.

At any time, wherever you go, you'll see someone with a cell phone clamped to their heads like it was glued there. That may not be troublesome if they're shopping at Wal-mart or walking in the mall, but what about if they're driving a 3000-pound SUV at 50 miles an hour through town during rush hour? Basil's got the answer. Boom, baby.

A small, unwanted puppy becomes an unexpectedly beloved gift.