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June 17, 2024

The Many Faces of George 14

By Sand Pilarski

Long ago, I worked in the vault room of a large retail store. A secure, windowless room, the vault's daily sameness was driving me nuts. In a feeble bid for some entertainment, I began collecting defaced one-dollar bills.

Artist: "The teacher says you could have messed up the entire Revolutionary War if you'd gone ahead and attacked the British in New York."

George: "I do not speculate on variations of history. However, taking my troops North instead of South would definitely have prolonged the conflict and resulted in far greater hardship for the Colonies."

Artist: "You'd have felt pretty dumb if you were remembered for being a dope."

George: "Fortunately I was not a dope, and was capable of listening to what Rochambeau had to say. He was absolutely right about the fortifications at Yorktown."

Artist: "I love that name, 'Rochambeau' -- the French had some cool names. Did you call him 'Beau' for short?"

George: "Certainly not!"

Artist: "Bet he had a little goatee and a French-style moustache like this ... "

George: "He did not! He was properly clean-shaven, as was I."

Artist: " ... And little French eyebrows like this."

George: "Preposterous! Stop giggling, you miscreant!"

Artist: "Crap! Here comes the teacher!"

Article © Sand Pilarski. All rights reserved.
Published on 2006-09-04
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